A Bond Built in the Dark
At 20 years old, I was a brand-new father with no clue how to balance my passion for life with the weight of responsibility that fatherhood demanded. In many ways, Willow and I grew up together.
As a baby, Willow wasn’t a great sleeper. Neither was I. Maybe there’s a part of us that just doesn’t want to miss out on what’s happening. Whatever the reason, those sleepless nights became our time. While the rest of the house slept, Willow and I bonded during late-night walks around the quiet dark of our home.
She would rest in my arms, looking up at me with her big blue eyes, as if to say, “I trust you, Dad. You got this.”
The truth was, I didn’t feel like I ‘had it’ at all. I felt deeply flawed and completely unequipped to be a father. But there she was, this little angel who somehow believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself.
Those late-night walks were everything. They were where we built a bond that would carry us through some of the hardest times. Willow and I faced struggles from the very beginning—her as a baby navigating a world that was brand new, and me as a young father trying to reconcile my trauma and insecurities with the man I desperately wanted to be for her.
Lessons Hard-Fought and Hard-Won
Throughout my twenties, I went down some dark paths. I worked as a bouncer in a nightclub filled with pimps, drug dealers, gangsters, and hookers, checking weapons at the door and trying to manage the tension of a rapidly escalating drug war in my hometown.
Many nights, I arrived home at 3 a.m. with a blood-stained shirt and bruised knuckles, questioning my existence and wondering where I began to lose my way. Willow would often wake-up when I got home as if waiting to comfort me with her big blue eyes.
Feeling as though I was groping in the dark for a light to guide me, I found comfort in Willow’s unconditional love.
There were times when I felt completely lost, yet I was always eventually guided back into the light—by Willow’s big blue eyes. Somehow, her gaze calmed me, soothed me, and reminded me of the man I needed to become.
I wish I could say I always embodied what I should have been for Willow when she was a baby, but I didn’t. I was too unsure of myself, too caught up in my own battles, too immersed in the drama. I regret not being the father she deserved in those early years.
Paying it forward
While I can’t change the past, I made a conscious choice not to let those hard-fought lessons go to waste. What I didn’t give Willow as a young father, I’ve done my best to give her now as she navigates adulthood.
I’ve tried to be a solid foundation for her, someone she can lean on as she finds her way in the world. And while I’ll always wish I had been more for her when she was a baby, I’m grateful for the bond we built during those late-night walks.
In many ways, we saved each other. I’m proud of the woman she’s become and honored to have played a small role in her journey. Through her, I’ve learned that it’s never too late to grow, to heal, and to strive to be the person someone else sees in you.
Our Mission: EDG, Strength Through Adversity
These hard-earned lessons are the foundation of the Everyday Guy (EDG), an impact media brand and life management system designed to help other men reclaim their power, build resilience, and create lives of clarity, confidence, and purpose.
Whether through the EDG online presence, our interactive journal, walk-beside coaching modules, EDG mini-game (in development), or the Hands Up, Chin Down, No Pain clothing line, everything we’ve created – as a family – is built on the belief that true power comes from within.
My experiences as a young father struggling to find answers to life’s questions echoed the lessons that I learned inside the ring as a boxer.
Just like inside the boxing ring, life will hit you. Hard. The question isn’t whether you’ll face challenges—it’s how you’ll respond.
EDG encompasses those hard-fought lessons and shares them in a way that other men who seek clarity and guidance can put into practice and be inspired by their simplicity.
EDG online helps men develop mental toughness, clarity, and emotional control through guided daily rituals, highlight reels, and real-time mindset shifts. The EDG Journal gives men a space to track their progress, reflect on their struggles, and create a blueprint for success. The Hands Up, Chin Down No Pain clothing line is more than apparel—it’s a statement – a mantra – an everyday reminder that resilience is a choice.
And, of course, the Loving Goliath Podcast keeps the conversation going—because healing for growth doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in community with connection, through shared lived experiences and stories that remind us we’re not alone in this fight.
You Got This.
If there’s one thing I’ve come to understand, it’s this: Similar to fatherhood and boxing, a large part of living life well is about showing up. It’s about learning from your mistakes, adjusting your strategy, and continuing to fight for the ones you love—and for yourself.
That’s what the EDG movement is all about. It’s about giving men the tools to stand strong in their own lives, to trust in themselves, and to build the kind of resilience that can withstand anything life throws their way.
Hands up. Chin down. No pain. You got this.
As a black child born in 1971, Ben was adopted in Seattle and raised by white parents in a tough neighbourhood in East Vancouver. He experienced relentless violence, bullying, and racial discrimination.
As a way to overcome fear and self-loathing, Ben became a competitive boxer, wrestler, and bodybuilder. These positive outlets allowed Ben to channel his hurt, anger, and frustration, eventually owning a gym, helping others as a successful personal trainer and mentoring youth as a community care worker.
Ben’s many years working as a nightclub bouncer gave him unique insight into the universal quest for self-acceptance, love, and happiness. Now he works to help men move past their own pain.
He lives on the beautiful west coast of Canada, with his partner for life, Charlene, in close proximity to his daughter, Willow.
